.. iQi am SPECIAL // Secrets Revealed ..

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Song: I wanna love you

My head has been in turmoil e past 2 or 3 days. It has to be about Taufik & Fahmie.
Ok.I will try my best not to be as biased. Here goes..

I can't deny that I still love Taufik so much after what happened. Fahmie is aware that I still have feelings for Fik. He is aware its hard for me to forget him. But in the end, I cchose someone I like over someone I love. I duno what got into me, but now, all excuses isn't the solution. So now, am just confessing in this pathetic blog of mine. Gutless and ego, prevents me from saying it outright from my mouth. Fik thinks that I am cheap, and that i don't love him and that I can just forget about him so fast. Sigh.. I wudnt blame him. I .. can't and never will forget him. How much i cant show it that i still love him and that now this is my decision, i can't change it. I just wanna say I am sorry, even though it won't change a shit.. & that I dunno if ever he will be waiting for me at the other end. I really do not know. .

So I realised, he do still thinks of his past friends that I don't like. & it strucked me, he do still think of her in particular. & thus, I can't do anything. I an't say anything. I just wanted to say, i am sorry, and I hope, life for him will be just fine.. *crushed*

& I have only myself to blame. This problem affects not just me n him, but those around me as well. I do not know what my reputation lies as. All i know, those who's clueless about a lot of things, can just rilek one corner. Sorry once again..

Fahmie promised me what he promised me. The only thing i hope is that, he do it as well. . Coz I am on the brink of depression myself.. Sighh...

iQi

Labels: Problems

2:54 PM

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

First. School updates::

1. ITE Tampines is aMAYBE.
2. MDIS; course management is a CONFIRM.
3. Shatec, is really unknown for now.

Second, Love Life::

1. I am sick & TIRED of thinkin of Taufik! Fuckingly sick & tired & tryna be perfect for him as well! Which I know in e end both can't agree on ANYTHING!
2. I am sick & TIRED of failing rships myself. & I realised younger guys are much harder to handle. Like, BIG TIME.!!! With all due respect, QUIT THINKIN AM TRYNA PLAY UR HEART LA! IF U HAVE LIKE MONEY IN E WORLD I WUD! I DO NOT WANT TO KEEP ON SAYING COZ AM GONNA BLABBER SOMETHING MORE WORSE & HUMILIATING!
3. BLACKMAILING me wudnt HELP ok? Because it just shows how WEAK u can be!
4. I am interested with this someone. But I am going much slower. I prefer that. Yes. I prefer that.... s....lo..........w... Yeah.

5. TO ALL THOSE FUCKEN EXs THAT FUCKEN LEFT ME, GET A FUCKEN LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE IN PEACE! JUST BECOZ I CHGED PHYSICALLY. I HATE TO SEE U PPL COMING BACK IN MY LIFE & TRY TO SLITHER INTO MY HEART BY UR MEANINGLESS WORDS! FUCKEEEEEERS!!!!!

Working Life::

1. Off the past few days due to i am sick.
2. Work has been ok. Still cant wait for school to reopen.
3. Nothing much o.O

Friends Life::

1. I have always adored my gfs that makes me smile all the time.
2. Naqiah,Shirin,Sha,Syasya,Hui2, they all rock my life!
3. I love them.

A message:

Dear Taufik,

I am sick and tired of ur words saying u wud like support me thruout when i wanna change but in e end, e way u treat me, dun even deserve any changed from me. U know what? I am sick and tired of all ur talking as well! & guess what my dearr, i hate to tell u this but i dun go for money. Even thou I do NEED, i dun go for em. I rather u do something bcoz ur willing, rather than bcoz i told u to, or my parents told u to. U can keep that $3000 and spend it on ur new WHOEVER or ur mom especially. I still have my family to support me. & i do not care about whats goin to happen to us nemore coz all e future i had planned with u starts to fade & now i see no future for both of us. I do NOT know who is on e losing end. For what i know, u got EVERYTHIN from me from the start. U know what i mean. & I dun wanna get acquainted to u anymore. Fuck it if i miss u or i longed to like get fucked. Coz thats immaterial. I can and will go on with my life & hopefully get over u. I pray.

iQi

Labels: Life

8:06 PM

Friday, March 09, 2007

No entries lately.

Reasons.
1. Too busy with work.
2. Too lazy
3. I have nothin much to say.

I am single now. I chose it. Details will be kept. Just to like update how am i lately.
Working mya ss off yea. Saturday am just oing shopping. I can't wait.
Lately i feel liike i dun have a fucking life. Yeah.

Todae later am gonna werk.
Oh yeah btw, I got into ITE Tampines. Hmm..
I wanted to go there but, someone is there. So....
I changed my mind. I appealed RP. IF not successful,
Am going to MDIS for Private Dip.

Other than that it isn't much. Just that, lately,
is full of thinkin, & am worried this stressful thinkin
& worrying gonna gimme wrinkles! YUCKY!

iQi

1:59 PM

Monday, March 05, 2007

The fucking internet connection right now is pretty sloooow. & hell friendster must be swarmed by so many people coming back from school and checking them that it got stuck.

And thus i can't upload photos there just yet. & so pay day came. But godammit frenss told me that they haven't get e money yet. So i got a feelin i wud check it this midnite. *fingers crossed*

& so I camwhored a whole lot. I am so sick & tired of not having any pics to upload. & blogging wise, i have like nothin much to blog about my boring life. & i ahve been on diet lately. Its for e stomach. I DO knoe that I am skiny enuf but my food consumption is really big & what other guys at my work place wud say, DINOSAUR meal. Damn. The tummy grows round like am 4 months preg. Serious shit thou.

Other than that, nothin much of an update. Work has been fine. People thot I have some trouble with one of my close colleague. It was a misunderstanding. I wud say its my fault thou. I really cant wait to shop. I swear... Am gonna shocked my parents with e number of bags am bringin back home on e 10th. Heehee.

P.s Do check my updated photos on my My Space or i wud call it pics Gallery :D

iQi

5:05 PM

Friday, March 02, 2007

Hooray!!

3 more days to PAY DAY PAY DAY PAY DAY!

WEE!~ Shoppe.. PLUS the $100 that daddy gave me.
Am flying now . I swear.

& &, tomorrow see ...... OK.

It's nearin to my birthday. Legal age, please come fast.

PLUS, am going to get my intake results. I swear, i really
want my Management course. URGHHH!!

UPDATE::

Opened my old friendster acc ::

ADD: cuteandfunky89@hotmail.com
http://friendster.com/iqilixious

yeah.. So erm. Feel free to view. If u like happen to know me, do add me.
Hmm.. Period cramps was FUCK. Now better. At work yesterday was a minor fight.
Some colleagues were fighting about drinks. -.-" & I happened to be the person they
complained to.

Other than that, nothing much. Just cant wait for pay day. That's just it.

OH YAH! Now I finish work at 11pm. & NO transport. WTf. They wanted to cut costs.
Other than that, erm nothing.

Till then..

iQi

2:05 PM

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Ok. Yesterday was my free day from work. I have to type fast as I have not yet bathe and all and am to go out to work sooon.

So yesterday I went out watch GhostRider. I LOVE the ghostrider instead of the real person. The GhostRider is just WICKED HOT ! Other than that nothing much.

So shir n syasya came down. PLUS DEE. Around 9 plus we sit ard. And and.. we drank.. Bacardi. We all shared money. And... I was high. Then, i dun really recall what happend. Coz I only remember seeing Bob. & his big group of frens, with my face being soo red. Like tomato. & some fuckers tryna get my number. & DEE GAVE IT TO HIM! WTF WTF!

Arrghhh.. Easy. Dun reply. I only remembered the painful parts. I puked my ass off! Urgh.. I still can just taste turkey bacon n shir smelled cheese *twitch*.. I am NEVER gonna drink so heavy nemore! I remmebered my whole body became blue as the blood all ran to my head.& i shivered like i was some sort like drugged. wth. Its serious big shit. E whole world was spinning.

&.. mom felt things. I felt things as well.. But am not strong enough or stable enough to jusge was it just me or its really 'things'. Haiyoh! I CANT WAIT TO GO WORK LA! I mish Din,Naq,Hui2. OK.

Labels: Drunk

2:42 PM

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Yesh. I am bored.

Had some reunion dinner on Saturday at Night Safari.

It is freakingly boring. NO music. How to last the night with no fucking music.
It is fun at another point as Sha.Naqiah,Hui Hui & Din & Bob & Mizi was all there.
There was gambling. Not heavy though. There was 6 jugs of Thai beer (which I didnt
end up drinkin due to I HATE beer.), and ciggies *drools*. There was a very
DELICIOUS cake. I swear. End up making sductives faces while eating cake. Damn.
I shud have taken a pic of it!

Music was thru handphone. Was grinding with Sha all the way. FUCKING FUN laaa!
Other than that. Steam boat was ok. Not delicious. BBQ was ok. It was fun. After that,
went home and all. Hmm..

Checked out Amin's EX gfs blog, I have no comments because they're 15 >.<
And I dun rili mix around with girls that are TOO young. I hate e way they think.
Maklumlah I passed that phase already. One of them looked like NURYN! OMG! &
& she's a fuckingly born in JUNE! FUCK! That is such an insult to me!! ARghh.!

& sooo.. Now am suppose to go and bathe. As I have to go work sooon.
I SOOO have to start camwhoring!!! I am slacking! Can't slaaaack! ARGH!

iQi

Labels: Muahha

2:59 PM